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Commentary

By Liz Quirin

Treating Everyone With Respect

This week let’s flip the coin and talk about people who exude life, who add warmth and cheer to any room they enter. Just as we know those who steal life and light from others, we also know their polar opposites. I vividly remember seeing a priest processing down the center isle of his parish church, arms outstretched, smiling and nodding at his parishioners on his way to the altar. While this was a good many years ago, I know he continues to extend his welcome today.

It’s amazing to see and feel the relationship between that priest and the people. He draws people to him, not on purpose, not in a manipulative way but in a joyful way, inviting everyone to join the celebration. Thankfully, he’s not the only pastor who invites people to share in the celebration of their faith.

We know this type of person; these men and women may be part of our families, our coworkers, even our employers. Even if they are supervisors in our offices, they make sure we are included in decisions that affect us. They don’t treat us like part of the woodwork, ignoring our presence nor do they issue edicts without consultation. They already know instinctively that people perform better if they are treated with dignity and respect.

That’s the key, isn’t it? Dignity and respect. If we treat everyone — our children and especially our teenagers — with dignity and respect, we may be pleasantly surprised at their behavior and their relationships with us. It may not be easy to establish or accept this type of relationship, especially if that hasn’t always been our approach, but change is good; it can be done.

If you supervise a group of people in an office or in a classroom and this hasn’t been your general approach, it may take folks some time to accept the new you. They may not trust that you really want their input, that you respect their ideas or would be willing to implement them. These days, people don’t automatically trust others; in fact, the opposite is generally true. However, if you can be patient and earn that trust, the rewards can be unbelievable. As with anything worthwhile, it takes time and patience.

Using teachers, for example, we have all been treated to some exceptional people who imbued us with a love of learning for our entire lives. These wonderful women and men have been the seasoning that has sometimes made a difference in what career choices we made, in our attitudes towards our subject and perhaps our peers. They not only taught the material in the course but they also showed us the value of another person who may not have the same views we did but whose opinions deserved a fair hearing.

We must be mindful of all those we have met who have exposed us to the joys of relationships, who have treated us respectfully, who have made a difference in how we treat others. We pray for them as we remember them, maybe even telling them what they have done for us.