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BDCCW Speakers Help Prepare Catholic Women for the Future

Story and photos by LIZ QUIRIN
Messenger editor

More than 175 Catholic women participated in the Belleville Diocesan Council of Catholic Women’s annual convention Oct. 13 at St. Michael Parish in Radom.
The group was welcomed by temporary administrator, Father Robert Zwilling and the BDCCW’s moderator, Father Dennis Voss.

After visiting various booths set up by the various commissions within the BDCCW, participants made their way to the church to hear the wisdom of the two speakers: Father John Iffert, pastor of St. Mary Parish in Mt. Vernon and Sister Catherine Wellinghoff, ASC, parish life coordinator at St. Paul Parish in Johnston City.

Both speakers’ topics provided a way the women could look into the future and see what it might hold.
Father Iffert’s talk centered on hope, how difficult it might be looking at history, and how important it is because of the message of Jesus Christ.

Father Iffert reviewed some history: world wars of the past and the present wars in the Middle East; ongoing violence in this country that sometimes explodes through tragedies like the Oklahoma City bombing, the shootings at Columbine High School and others.

“In my lifetime we’ve wasted the peace dividend, stock dividends, the dotcom boom and countless human capital, and our economy now fails to serve people because of rampant greed in repackaging home loans,” Father Iffert told the group.

And Father Iffert did not gloss over the scandals in the church that have threatened our ability to hope in the institution over the years.

It is these tragedies and scandals and losses that define hope, Father Iffert said.

Quoting St. Thomas Aquinas, he said: Thomas “gave us a good sense of what hope is when he defined its object as ‘a good that lies in the future and that is difficult, but possible to attain.’ Hope is always about defining loss or resistance as challenge,” Father Iffert said. “Hope says that if we aren’t getting what we prayed for, it is because we are being directed to something better.”

Father Iffert ticked off a few reasons to continue to hope: young people and their “incredible appetite for service”; global Catholicism and an increase in vocations in some parts of the world, notably Africa and Latin America; and the increase in vocations among lay leaders, to name a few.

In concluding his remarks, Father Iffert urged the women to “listen because there is nowhere God is not; if we listen, we may be able to help awaken others to the hope within them; to love every person; and keep before others a vision of what God is bringing into being.”

In her presentation, Sister Catherine Wellinghoff brought the women up to date on the Millennials — children born after 1981 who have come of age as new technology bursts on the scene annually if not more often; where they only know about cell phones, Ipods and computers.

Tweeting and FaceBook are second nature to these young adults, still 20-something but fast approaching 30.
Often, these young adults prefer to text someone they could easily call on their ubiquitous cell phones but prefer a less personal “conversation.”

To those of us who are Gen Xers (born 1965-80), boomers (born 1946-64), Silent (born 1928-45) or Greatest (born before 1928), a conversation includes talking to someone, not tweeting, finding them on a social network or through a text message.

Because many young adults can satisfy their need for community through electronic technology, they generally don’t find it necessary or important to gather as a community at church.

Sister Catherine paints a picture of today’s families with those of earlier generations.

“We grew up in a strong stable family,” Sister Catherine said. “Today’s family is overscheduled, always on the run. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are working too hard; rather, they’re going in too many directions.

“We bonded together as family, did chores, ate most of our meals as a family, had one television and maybe one car. We had to get along; we had front porches; we visited; we developed strong bonds of friendship,” she said.

Thus, earlier generations experienced community on multiple levels, and their conversations were face-to-face.
However, Sister Catherine sees some of the millennials as “often lonely, desiring a face-to-face relationship but to schedule a time to get together or go out to dinner becomes a challenge.”

These young people have developed many “virtual” relationships with people on line but not the kind that will lead to fulfillment as one with real people forming a real community.

Sister Catherine was not condemning technology but rather asking her audience to look at the way their children and grandchildren need more than virtual communities to satisfy the need for relationships.

The church, as community, is the Body of Christ. “On weekends, we gather as a faith community,” Sister Catherine said. “We grow in our relationship with Jesus and with one another.”

Sister Catherine offered some suggestions for parents with children still at home and then some for the parents of Millennials who no longer live at home or even close to home.

For those still at home: 1. Make God comfortable in the family and the family comfortable with God. Put God in the kitchen, the living room, the computer room and the car. Talk to God at all times.

2. Celebrate birthdays, baptismal anniversaries, a good report card, any occasion to gather everyone together.
3. Have one evening dedicated to a family meal where everyone is gathered together, including grandparents if they can come.

4. Visit an elderly person living alone or someone who is sick or lonely.

5. Have an Advent wreath; put the Christmas crib in a prominent place; teach the little ones about Jesus’ birth; sing Christmas carols in the neighborhood; send religious Christmas cards.

6. Be positive with the church, its personnel and try not to be cynical; nobody’s perfect, and we all make mistakes.
7. Attend a penance service during Advent and Lent as a family.

For the Millennials, the following might help:
1. Invite them to the parish and/or give them a ride; after Mass, go out for breakfast or brunch.

2. Make sure you have a welcoming parish for someone who may be new or someone returning to church.

3. Ask your children or grandchildren for the gift of presence, not presents. For a special occasion like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or Christmas, ask your Millennials to go to Mass with you, together, as a family.

Don’t nag Millennials. They know better than most people how to “tune out” unwanted conversations.
4. Leave a bulletin around the house so young people can see it and read it.

5. Pray. Remember St. Monica praying for St. Augustine? Things don’t generally happen over night.

Some Millennials drift into non-denominational churches for a time. They just don’t have the richness of Catholic rituals and tradition. When these churches fail to measure up to a Millennial’s expectations, it may be time to raise the idea of returning to the Catholic church.

Sessions in the afternoon included: “A Spirituality for Our Times — The Treasure Within” by Sister Anne Irose, ASC; “Trying to Make Sense of the Sexual Abuse Scandal” by Father Dennis Voss; and “Basic Estate Planning Concepts” with attorney Aaron Epplin. The convention closed with an afternoon liturgy celebrated by Bishop Stanley Schlarman and the installation of new BDCCW officers. They are: Janet Molinarolo, president; Alice Wendling, vice president; Josephine Swanson, secretary; and Joan Derringer, treasurer.