Supplements

Commentary

By Liz Quirin

The List

I woke up this morning thinking about lists. We all have them, and some of us have different kinds of lists. The easy ones include the grocery list, the Christmas list — and it’s almost time to start thinking about that one — the chores list and even the exercise list, the “Top 10” lists, and of course, the “bucket list.”

In the fall, young people take their lists to the store for school supplies, and sometimes nursing homes give family members lists of what a resident needs and maybe another one of what he or she doesn’t need or shouldn’t have.
Kinds of lists are endless and can be comforting to the person making them. It makes the list in your head visual, present, real. It speaks of “what I need to do today” or this week or this month. It adds purpose, if we need that or a memory jog if that’s what’s needed. In some cases, it validates what we are about.

People who make fun of lists may be “closet listers,” people who don’t want to admit they have a list because they think it might be seen as a weakness. Those of us who live by the list see them as a way to keep order in our lives, to make sure we don’t leave something or someone out of a particular moment or situation.

When children are young, we encourage them to make lists of the things they want for a special occasion: birthday or Christmas. My daughter wouldn’t just put random items on her lists. She would think about it, write out the name of some item, its brand, the cost and where to buy it. While it took some really time-consuming planning to surprise her, when she did receive a gift from her list, it was exactly what she wanted. And she was always aware of cost so she made sure she included items that wouldn’t break anybody’s bank.

Sometimes after the children made their lists, we talked about the difference between what they wanted and what they needed, people who couldn’t or wouldn’t get anything on their lists and what we could do about it. It became an instructional and sometimes inspirational tool for our family.

One of the most important lists for me is a prayer list which includes all of the people who have asked me for prayers or those I believe need prayers and have been included on my list. One family member said she has problems with her prayer list: It seems that when she puts someone on her list they are seldom taken off the list. Some people just need prayers all the time. I hope I’ve made it on a few prayer lists myself. On some days, I know I need to be on everybody’s prayer list.

When you have a few minutes, make a list of all the people who have made a difference in your life, think about them, say a prayer for them, and then, maybe call a few of them and tell them what they’ve done for you. Call it your “thanks-giving” list.