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Commentary

By Liz Quirin

Starting a Conversation About Respect

The church, like society, has become extremely polarized with one side shouting for “Latin Masses only,” and the other side lobbying for “women priests” to save us. What happened to the middle ground where we could all meet to discuss whatever issue was dividing us? We’re losing that middle ground; it’s being trampled by extremists on both sides of every issue who know only how to shout their positions without being able to hear that someone on the other side of an issue may have something to say.

This, I believe, boils down to a lack of respect for people of any age or any social or economic level. For whatever reason — and I can think of a few — some young people have no respect for their elders, and some older people who don’t understand youth don’t think they have anything to offer. What happened to respect? The quick and easy answer would be that it was ignored so long that it disappeared. The answer, I fear, is more complicated than that.
Clearly, it is a topic that has not mesmerized the masses nor been the subject of discussions around the family dinner table or the office water coolers or the after-church gatherings that take place at many parishes around the diocese or across the country for that matter. Who talks about respect? Probably teachers who would like some of it themselves. So, if it’s a topic for a lesson in school, it won’t be the “buzz” any place else.

If you think about it — and honestly, I have — everything has something to do with respect, from the smallest issue to the largest. For example, people who don’t show up to events or work or school on time, don’t have enough respect for themselves or the place they need to be. Some can be excused because they forget, but most of us just don’t allow enough time to get where we’re supposed to be. Who cares? Well, it shows some folks don’t care enough to get there in a timely manner.

In the short or long term, the only person you can change is yourself. I have learned this lesson over years of trying to change other people to suit me, and it has never worked. If you have children of any age who will listen — that includes teenagers — it is a great topic for discussion, especially if you can dredge up some interesting examples of who or what has not been respected. Respect the car that carries everyone to all of the places they need to go and can’t be easily replaced; respect your younger brothers and sisters because they are part of our family, and someday you will like them better, enough to want to see them when you no longer live at home.

October is Respect Life month across the nation. It is a time to remember everyone — those in our world in some way and those not yet born — deserves respect.