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family offers lesson in selflessness as soldier serves his country

Story by LIZ QUIRIN
Messenger editor

With his wife of two years and his baby, Natalie, three months old, this U.S. Army captain packed his bags and headed to Afghanistan in February to fly Apache helicopters. It is what he does, fly those helicopters and lead a platoon of soldiers, but it is not all of who he is.

Just ask his wife, Ali, and his parents, Barb and Dan Haselhorst of Trenton. Being a Haselhorst explains some of the personality traits that drew Ali to Matthew when she met him at Western Illinois University in Macomb, Ill., after his first tour in the Middle East in 2003 as part of the Iraqi Freedom force.

The Haselhorsts are an expansive clan stretching far and wide, and into the past and the future. Matthew’s roots have a bearing on his story, and that’s why they are mentioned here. And his grandfather, Raymond Schaefer, 88, shares close ties with his grandson, in part because as part of his basic training Matthew spent time at posts where his grandfather did during World War II.

Tears welled in his mother’s eyes and her voice caught as she spoke of Matthew, 29, her youngest of three grown children.

Hundreds of miles away, Barb Haselhorst’s daughter-in-law, a strong and confident young woman, also had a catch in her voice at times as she described her husband.

Ali said she was drawn to Matthew because of his selflessness. “He’s constantly thinking of other people,” Ali said.

For instance, Matthew asked his wife to send him about 70 copies of a book that would help
members of his company learn about budgeting and getting out of debt, “about financial freedom.”

Money matters seem to be a worry for the soldiers that serve under him, and the captain wants to help those who serve with him.

His wife calculated the cost of 70 copies of the book and said they could afford about 30 of them. That decided, she purchased the copies and sent them to Afghanistan for distribution.

“That’s the kind guy he is,” Ali said.

When they began dating in college, they talked of times he would be away from her, when deployments would put distance between them. It would be hard, they knew, but now with baby Natalie, the separation is more difficult for him, Ali said. “It’s a lot harder than he imagined,” Ali said.

He has seen Natalie three times since he deployed, Ali said, via videos. At one point, Ali thought they would have time for a video conference, but Matthew told her he was saving that “slot” for somebody else, someone who needed it.

Matthew’s parents, Barb and Dan, said their third child graduated from Mater Dei High School in 2000, and by that time, he had already signed up for the Illinois National Guard. While he was supposed to begin his guard training in August of that year, he couldn’t go because of illness. Instead, he went to training in April 2001 and then would go to Western in August.

In January 2003, his Illinois National Guard unit was activated and after training, he was sent to Iraq for his first tour of duty.

He returned to school after his tour in Iraq and joined the Army ROTC. He told his family he wanted to fly helicopters.
Your children “throw a curve at you once in awhile,” Barb Haselhorst said.

Ali and Matthew were married at St. Mary’s in Trenton soon after she joined the Catholic church. Matthew’s great uncle, Msgr. Vince Haselhorst officiated at their wedding.

Right now, Matthew flies missions in Afghanistan, keeps in touch with his family through email, Skype (a software application that allows users to make voice and video calls and chats over the Internet) and videos Ali sends him of Natalie.

Ali, a special education teacher, said she keeps busy with the baby and has begun running for exercise and to keep herself busy.

“It’s hard not knowing the date” of Matthew’s return, she said. “When he left, I thought that was probably the hardest thing I would ever do,” tell him good-bye. “I decided I would run a half marathon.”

That would be difficult, but it has helped, she said. “I put Natalie in the jogging stroller, and off we go.”

This year, the couple will celebrate their anniversary — July 4th — on separate continents.

Ali will celebrate that day by running a 10K at Ft. Campbell with proceeds from the run going to Wounded Warriors, she said.

While she will be running for others, she will be thinking about her husband and looking forward to his homecoming next summer or fall.

Barb and Dan Haselhorst are waiting as well. They all look to the Lord to protect Matthew. “We have to take it in stride,” Dan said. “We’re so proud of him and all of our kids.”