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Youth make a difference through one parent's deployment

Story and photo by LIZ QUIRIN
Messenger editor

Memorial Day celebrates soldiers who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country — they have given their lives in past and present wars. In the following articles, The Messenger looks at contributions U.S. military personnel continue to make in the conflict in the Middle East. The first story gives a glimpse into the life of an Air Force lieutenant colonel who was deployed to Afghanistan and the contributions his son and other youth in his parish made to his mission in Afghanistan.

Lt. Col. Steven Byrnes, a clinical psychologist with almost 17 years in the Air Force, was deployed to Afghanistan with a week to 10 days notice.

The Byrnes family belongs to St. Nicholas Parish in O’Fallon that has an active youth group. Adam Byrnes, now 17, the colonel’s son and one of four children, belongs to that group.
Because he knew his father would be helping wounded soldiers and civilians — including and especially children — Adam wanted to do something. And he did.

After reading an e-mail from his father about “an Afghani child who got in the way of some fighting going on in his village. He was injured pretty severely,” Adam said.

The child’s parents survived the attack and brought their offspring to the base where Col. Byrnes was located. The child was treated and the family returned to their village where they would undoubtedly be caught in future battles.
“I couldn’t imagine having to be in this situation,” Adam said, “and I knew there were plenty of other stories much worse than this one.”

Adam decided he would do something about the plight of the children and help his father in the bargain.
He went to his parish youth group and asked if he could collect Beanie Babies to send to his father to give to the children who were brought to the base.

“I thought maybe I could make their lives a little better by giving them some comforts that any normal child should have,” he said.

When he mailed his packages, Adam, with the help of the youth group, sent about 300 Beanie Babies to Col. Byrnes who distributed them while he was there.

Col. Byrnes said the gifts gave him a way to connect with the children, and another project that Adam also completed, gave him a way to connect with the injured soldiers he treated.

Besides the Beanie Babies, Adam asked his friends in the youth group to write thank you letters — 50-60 of them — to the soldiers.

The letters were not addressed to any particular soldier. Rather, they were letters that said “thank you for the sacrifice you have made,” Adam said.

Col. Byrnes said he used the letters to “break the ice” with some of the wounded soldiers.

“Several times I handed (the letters) to injured soldiers who were at a low point, especially if the injury was severe. On our first meeting, I would hand a letter to a soldier as a way to communicate that someone cares. Soldiers who just experienced a bad injury usually feel at a very low point and very alone with much confusion about the future,” Col. Byrnes said.

The letters made an impact on the wounded soldiers, and they “opened doors” so that the colonel “could effectively” do his job.

For Adam, the letters were “a simple reminder of something they might have forgotten, which is that they have the support of everyone back home.”

Col. Byrnes spent six months deployed in Afghanistan. During that time he treated soldiers, civilians and in some cases, enemy combatants who were wounded and brought to the base for treatment.

“I tried to remember that there was a reason for being deployed,” he said, “that God gave me an expertise with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) so he sent me to use it.”

The colonel found God in his assignment. “Some may wonder how you can find God in war,” he said. “Since there was great suffering, there were also many trying to ease it. You could see God in their compassion.”
When he returned to O’Fallon, Col. Byrnes agreed to speak to the youth group about his deployment and thank them for their support.

They listened with quiet attention. Adam said he knew they were listening carefully because “that’s the quietest I’ve seen them” at a meeting.

While Col. Byrnes said, “At times, it was very hard to do my job, but much growth comes from hard times.”
His son, Adam, and his friends, have grown through the experience as well.

Memorial Day has always been significant to Col. Byrnes, he said, but “I realize now more than ever how fragile life is and how it can end at any moment.”

Adam sees the holiday as more meaningful to him. “Now it hits home.”