Supplements

Commentary

By Liz Quirin

Driving Decisions

I read with great interest the safety tips for older drivers in the Senior Supplement page B3 in this Messenger. I wanted to see if we had done the right things with my mother when she went for her last drivers license test. It was a harrowing and protracted experience for the testing person, my brother-in-law and for me, but it didn’t seem to phase mother a bit. It wasn’t funny when we were dealing with it in 1999, but over time I have adopted a different perspective.

Here’s what happened: The first time I took mother to the drivers license facility, she sat in the car and was instructed to test the turn signals, turn on the lights, windshield wipers — you know how it goes. She didn’t do any of it right away. She couldn’t hear the man shouting from behind the car; she went for the test, and I waited at the office, pacing. She flunked the test. I couldn’t take the pressure, so we had a family meeting, and my brother-in-law took her to the next test. She flunked again. Then, he bowed out, and we had one last chance.

As we drove to the facility for that last chance, I gave mother a pep talk, describing what I thought were the difficult parts of the driving test. I told her it was her last chance to renew her license. She walked out to the car with the testing agent, and I began to pace and pray — but what should I pray for? If she passed the test, would every other driver on the road be in danger? If she didn’t pass the test, would she be permanently depressed and unable to take care of herself?

I finally hit upon my solution, one I have repeatedly used whenever I pray: “Dear God, whatever your will, please help us accept it, live with it and continue to live our lives for your glory.” What else could I do? If I prayed for the license and she had an accident, my Catholic guilt would haunt me forever. If I prayed for her to fail, the same thing would happen.

When she returned with the agent, they spent a long time in the car. Mother was listening with her new hearing aids and nodding as the agent talked. When they walked back into the building, the agent said she had passed. The original problem was solved when she sat on a cushion so she could see over the steering wheel. While that problem was solved, we remained on our knees praying for everyone’s safety when she pulled onto the street. Within two months, she decided she didn’t want to drive anymore.

Now, many years later, I look through those driving tips and know my turn is coming somewhere down the road. What would you do today if someone took your keys and said you couldn’t drive? We are such an independent people, going where we want, more or less when we want, but that window on our world will not always remain open. We need to adjust our focus to be and remain dependent on God and make choices so that our will coincides with God’s will for us.